The Family Food Coach

Maintaining vs. Gaining Holiday Weight

Dear Debbie,

I feel like I am already gaining my usual holiday 10 pounds and the season has just begun. What can I do to avoid repeating this yearly ritual?  E.P.

Dear E.P.,

You certainly are not alone in this challenge.  We all experience an overload of high-calorie food and beverages at this time of the year, not to mention the effects of rushing - no time for exercise, stress, and too little sleep.  All of these factors contribute to holiday weight gain. 

My recommendation is to focus on weight maintenance. This usually makes it much easier to enjoy the holidays avoid the guilt of holiday weight gain. 

Following my 4 Steps to Healthy Weight, the first item on the agenda is to make the commitment to remain at your current weight.  Notice I said 'commit' not 'try' or 'hope.'  A commitment must be in place in your thoughts and beliefs in order for your actions to follow.  One statement that sets the commitment in motion may be, "Today, I am committed to maintaining my weight by respecting my body through all my thoughts, words, and actions." 

As you say this, how do you feel?  Does it feel like a "100% Yes!" or are there doubts and fears creeping in.  Maybe you're feeling like a 75% commitment since you know you are going to a favorite restaurant today and you love their (fill in the blank).  That's okay, don't deny yourself.  But can you come up with a plan that honors your commitment while honoring the part of you that wants the (.......)?  Perhaps the plan might be to split it with your dining partner, or enjoy half and bring the rest home to share with a loved one or freeze to be enjoyed next week.  The important thing is to honor your commitment. 

So, what if you've made commitments before and didn't honor them?  Watch for a follow-up article addressing this topic.  Meanwhile, create a commitment statement that feels like a 100% Yes!

NO TIME TO COOK

Dear Debbie,

I recently started a new job and don't get home before 6:30-7:00pm. It is so easy to pop in a frozen dinner or stop by a fast food joint and pick up really bad for you food. Do you have a simple solution to making good for you meals ahead of time for the week that so that I don't go down the "bad" path of least resistance?  P.B.

Dear P.B.,

This is the most common challenge I hear - 'I know what to do but I don't have time to do it.'  The solution is to keep it simple.  One way to do that is to prepare one-dish meals.  Of course, some pre-planning is involved as well as a properly stocked pantry.  Here's an example of a recent meal I prepared when I had no time:

Whole Wheat Spaghetti topped with Grilled Chicken and Vegetables

Grilled chicken left over from my Sunday Dinner (marinated in Drew's Thai Sesame Lime salad dressing)

String beans left over from a double batch prepared for Sunday's Dinner

Sliced tomatoes, black olives, sliced cucumbers, and shredded carrots left over from a double batch prepared for Sunday Dinner's salad.  NOTE:  When I prepare salad ingredients, instead of putting them over the lettuce, I arrange them in a divided dish and let each person select their toppings.  I always cut up extra for leftovers and store them in the divided dish.

To create a meal, I cooked whole wheat organic spaghetti and tossed it lightly with the same dressing I had used the day before as a marinade.  I piled it in a nice pasta bowl and topped it with the above toppings.  No further dressing was required.

It also made for a healthy lunch the next day and basically, all I had to do was cook the pasta!

The Family Food Coach welcomes your questions.  Please send an email with Ask the Coach in the Subject line.  Due to volume, all questions may not be published or answered.

TODDLER FOOD CHALLENGES

Hello Debbie,

I just checked out your website and I love it.  I have two boys - 2 1/2 and 6 months. My older son was a good eater until about 18 months. And now, while he doesn't eat a lot of junk food except for maybe some cookies, he does not eat dinner foods and rarely tries something new. I have been very frustrated and discouraged over the past year and can admit to giving up on several occasions with the food issues. I am trying to help him become a better eater and deal with my own weight difficulties. I find that stress and lack of time to plan are the biggest contributors to my eating problems and my family's eating routines.  Any suggestions?  D.L.

Dear D.L.,

You are experiencing a common challenge - lack of time to prepare healthy foods.  Addtionally, you have the challenge of a picky-eating toddler.  As for your little 2 1/2 year old, don't give up.  It really is a normal developmental stage that many little ones go through... part of the 'practicing independence' process as well as reduced appetite.  As parents (and adults), we tend to expect them to eat more than they really require, which often sets up conflict and interferes with their inborn food regulation system.  Research shows that it often takes 10 or more tries of a certain food before a child may develop a taste for that food, so patience and consistency is important.

The best thing a parent can do through this stage is to set boundaries as far as sitting at the dinner table with the family and giving the child choices as to what he/she would like to put on his/her plate for dinner (assuming of course that everything on the table is nourishing).  If the child doesn't want to sit, set a timer for an age-appropriate period of time and tell the child that when the timer goes off, he/she may leave the table.  Gradually, increase the time. 

As for eating well at dinnertime, be especially careful about in-between meal snacks so the child is hungry when he/she comes to the table, giving frequent small but nutritious snacks.  Cookies, juice, crackers should be given a very small percentage of the time since they provide calories but not nutrients.

Also, please refer to a previous post But, My Child is a Picky Eater for more suggestions on this important topic.

As for the lack of time challenge, see my accompanying article Not Enough Time to Cook, a reply to a recent comment from another reader.

The Family Food Coach welcomes your questions.  Please send an email with Ask the Coach in the Subject line.  Due to volume, all questions may not be published or answered.

NOW WHAT?

Hi Debbie,

I started seeing a nutrition counselor.  She gave me all the whys and the wherefores of eating healthier and now I have to become motivated.  How can I do that?  P.R.

Dear P.R.,

You're absolutely right - it's the motivation part that is the challenge.  Simply put, there has to be a high value on doing the new behavior (or way of eating).  When changing behavior, the reason to change has to be stronger than the reason to continue doing what we've been doing.  Once we tap into that, it becomes much easier to do whatever is necessary to reach our goals. 

Picture these two scenarios - 1) a doctor tells you that you may be predisposed to becoming diabetic if you continue at this weight or 2) a doctor tells you that your blood sugars are at a dangerously high level, which will likely lead to blindness and mini-strokes if you don't lose weight immediately.  Which of the two scenarios would motivate you to seriously change your eating habits?  Certainly given the second scenario, we would have a higher motivation to change.  The fact is if something is important to us, we do it.  In the above case, if it is important that we maintain our independence, or want to be available for our family, or want to continue working at a career we enjoy, we will probably begin changing immediately and it won't be a struggle. 

Of course, that is the very simple version.  There are lots of different factors that also enter into the picture... environment, antecedents to behavior, consequences of behavior, support, having the right resources, etc.

Simply put, willpower has very little to do with successfully reaching our goals.  Rather it is having the right motivation.  The behavior then changes accordingly.  Often it is difficult to identify a powerful motivator which is when enlisting the help of a professional counselor, coach, or trusted non-judgmental friend may be helpful.

Tried Every Diet

Dear Family Food Coach,

I have tried every diet, some numerous times, and lost the weight but always gain it back.  It feels like a losing battle.  I'm thinking about gastric bypass surgery as a last resort.  Can you help?  ND

It sounds like you are feeling hopeless about ever permanently reaching your weight goals.  First, let me say that diets fail 95% of the time as a long-term solution to weight loss.  We tend to think we failed, perhaps that we don't have enough willpower, but the fact is dieting is a poor way to approach weight loss.  That's because dieting only addresses what you eat, not why you eat.  Eating is a behavior and as such, is preceded by thoughts and feelings.  Change the thoughts/feelings and the behavior changes accordingly.

Even if you went ahead with gastric bypass surgery, ND, you still need to make behavior changes to change your eating.  Your mind will still be programmed to do what it did before, i.e., reach for candy when feeling tired, stressed, or depressed - or maybe just because that is something you did at a particular time of day.  Why not begin with changing the behavior and then decide on the surgery?

Also, research shows that support is helpful in this process.  Change is a gradual process and it is helpful to work with a behavioral professional while making permanent lifestyle changes.  The Family Food Coach offers telephonic coaching packages to help you be successful in reaching your goal. 

Best wishes and remember that you are innately programmed to be healthy.  Remove the obstacles and the body will return to a state of wellness.

But, My Son Is a Picky Eater!

My son is 4 years old and only likes hot dogs, spaghetti, and french fries.  I've tried to introduce new foods, but he refuses to even try them.  What else can I do?  E.M.

This is a dilemma many parents face.  First and foremost, remember your job as a parent is to teach your child skills that will help him or her be healthy and successful throughout life. 

Healthy eating is one of the most important behaviors to teach as it has the potential to impact your child's wellness, social acceptance, emotional well-being, and even their life span.  In fact, according to recent research published in the journal Pediatrics, children of this generation may be the first generation to actually have a shorter life span than their parents.

It is never too late to help a child eat healthier.  Below are some tips on teaching children healthy eating:

• Parents establish meal times, not children.


• Parents establish foods, not children.  Provide only foods that are nutrient-dense, such as fruits and vegetables.
• Don't offer (or have in the house) foods that are high in calories and low in nutrients such as ice cream, fried foods, cookies, and sweetened beverages.
• Keep encouraging your child to try a new food.  New healthy foods may need to be introduced as many as 10 times before your child develops a taste for it.
• Use nonfat or low-fat dairy products.
• Be aware of appropriate portion sizes. Start children off with smaller amounts of food and have them request more, rather than feeding them what you think they want or need.
• Limit snacking especially in response to boredom, and eliminate sweetened (artifically or otherwise) beverages as snacks (eg, juice, soda, sports drinks).  Offer fruit if child wants something sweet.  See Yogurt Sundae.
• Have regular family meals.

Begin today!  Your children will thank you later.

The Family Food Coach welcomes your questions.  Please send an email with Ask the Coach in the Subject line.  Due to volume, all questions may not be published or answered.